Parker's Wild Blog!

  • Best Headline Ever: Man Eats Cocaine From Brother's Butt, Dies

    Posted by Parker

    The moral of this story?  DO NOT eat cocaine from your brothers butt.

    "police told Charleston, S.C., TV station WCIV there were additional drugs hidden in 23-year-old Deangelo Mitchell's backside.

    Officers said Deangelo Mitchell convinced his brother, 20-year-old Wayne Mitchell, to swallow the ounce of cocaine to hide the evidence. He died soon afterward."

    story taken from: http://www.theindychannel.com/news/30037563/detail.html

    -Parker

     

     

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 12/21/11

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Has anybody seen Dat ass?  Oh there it is.

    2)

    What the hell is your problem?  Your hot, just get some idiot to buy you something.  Problem solved.

    3)

    If the first thing you noticed was that she is a Michigan fan, I have some bad news for you.

    4)

    This one is pretty generic.  But still nice.

    5)

    All of the finest restaurants are pants optional.

    6)

    Note: Never trust a hot chick leaning casually against a building while holding a gun.  No matter what her shirt says. (I learned that lesson the hard way)

    7)

    Awww that's cute.......except for the fact that the cat looks sort of....well....dead.

    8)

    HAHAHAHA!  Good one!  Now get out of the @%$!ing fridge before my beer gets warm!!!!

     

     

  • Wanna See a Tiny Dik-Dik?

    Posted by Parker

    This is a dik-dik (please insert joke here)

    It's pretty much a tiny antelope. (insert TINY dik-dik joke here)  This one was born at the Chester Zoo in England.  It stands 10 inches tall and according to this picture can operate Microsoft Outlook e-mail.

    They have to feed it 10 times a day because it's mother shunned it (insert "your mom" dik-dik joke here)

    Congratulations!  You just learned about dik-diks!  You are now smarter.

    -Parker

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 12/20/11

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Standing in an empty field....now that IS wild.

    2)

    Hi.

    3)

    Sometimes I squeeze like this for luck

    4)

    Here you go weirdos.  I didn't forget about you.

    5)

    Boy, I sure do love kneeling on rocks and just stopping to ponder the mysteries of the universe.

    6)

    I don't know what SbB is, but if this is how they advertise I want to buy it in massive quantities.

    7)

    I told you women were awful drivers.

    8)

    You found my shoes!  Thanks!

    9)

    I think noodles are soooooo funny.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, yeah me too.

    By the way, one of those chicks was Lindsay Lohan.  You probably didn't even notice.  I threw it in to prove that she is still hot even if she is a crack head.

  • Jon Bon Jovi. NOT Dead.

    Posted by Parker

    A couple people posted on Facebook today about Jon Bon Jovi being dead.  Instead of just re-posting it and looking like an idiot I did some quick research.  He is not dead.  It was all a Twitter hoax.

    The story says he was found in a New Jersey hotel room in a coma and then taken to a hospital where he died.  That is 100% false.  Actually he IS in New Jersey, but it's for a benefit concert that he WILL be attending tonight.

    -Parker

    Hmmm.  According to this I'm dead.  Bummer.

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 12/19/2011

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Nanners are good for you.

    2)

    Tie you up and make you watch Futurama?  OK.  If that's how you get down, I'm game.

    3)

    Hmmmm.  Should I fill out this paperwork or take a picture of myself with my phone?

    4)

    Again....Love the reverse cleavage.

    5)

    Maybe if we all focus our mind power on that next snap.......

    6)

    Damn it!  I told you to wash it!  Not just lay around on the hood!

    7)

    It's a golf trophy

     

     

     

  • Santa Pimp, Toilet Santa and the Snow Puft Marshmallow Man. Merry Christmas!

    Posted by Parker

    Here are a few random holiday photos I snagged from iheartchaos.com.  Enjoy.

    -Parker

    1)

    Pretty cool.  But why is he giving the thumbs up?

    2)

    Now THAT is an advent calendar!

    3)

    Pimpin' ain't easy.  Not even for Santa.

    4)

    Have you ever wanted to drop a steaming pile in Santa's head?  Hey, who hasn't?

    5)

    Fun Fact:  Ned Stark is the ghost of Christmas past.

     

     

  • High School Prank Has Kids Unknowingly Making Out With Their Parents. Not Cool.

    Posted by Parker

    At a (strange) school in Minnesota they had a pep assembly that went terribly wrong.  They blindfolded students and had them guess who was kissing them.  The problem is it was their parents who did the kissing.  Now the internet community is upset over the video......so of course I'm going to post it.

     

    It is someplace between hilarious and horrifying.  I personally lean toward horrifying.  What is wrong with these people?

    -Parker

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 12/16/2011

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Nice boots.

     

    2)

    Summertime is the best.

    3)

    Saw a lot of these when I lived in L.A.  We call these Fancy Sluts

    4)

    Our engineer turned me on to this chick.  He is a wise, wise man.

    5)

    So is she zipping it up or zipping it down?

     

    6)

    Hey there crazy hat.

    7)

    This was from a mail order bride website.  Nothing screams marry me like a post apocolyptic war zone.

     

     

  • Here Are a Few of The Worst Toys Ever

    Posted by Parker

    Here are a bunch of awful toys I found on the internet.  For those of you that want to get back at your kids for...whatever.  I'm sure they did something.

    -Parker

    1)

    Here you go little girl!  A scary monster you can drive!  Plus you get to sit in his brain.  Fun!

    2)

    I'm pretty sure I would not even understand this thing in english.

    3)

    With interlocking parts!

     

    4)

    Remember, have your parents wash the dog anus after each use.

     

    5)

    Awwww man, I was the meat from Rocky last time!!!  I wanna be Paulie's Robot!

     

    6)

    BFF's

     

    7)

    Let's pretend to wait in line at the airport!  Yeeeeeaaahhh!

    8)

     

    The most fun thing about a Spider-man toy is making him do average things.

     

    9)

    Take that Decepticons!  I'm........a shoe.

     

    10)

    Would you care for some cool refreshing flesh?  Why thank you!