Parker's Wild Blog!

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/13/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Not goin' anywhere for a while?

    2)

    I set this chick trap last night and when I woke up this morning found out it worked!

    3)

    What the hell sport is this?  Where do I buy tickets?  I don't care what they cost.

    4)

    Are those cherries?  Who is she waiting for?  Pac-Man?

    5)

    Have I done this one before?  I don't remember.  I guess it's worth repeating if I have.

    6)

    Ten WHOLE pounds??!!  Remind me not to mess with her.

    7)

    Dude in the back.

    8)

    I hope whoever left her in the car cracked the window and left a bowl of water.

    9)

    I think you can cool it with the sit-ups.

     

     

     

  • U.S. Marines Urinate On Dead Bodies

    Posted by Parker

    This video has been pretty big news over the past couple days.  It shows four marines urinating on some dead taliban bodies.  Would the Taliban do the same thing?  Maybe.  But I was under the impression that we were BETTER than them.  I guess we are not.  Now the rest of the world knows it.  Embarrasing. -Parker

     

  • Parker's Random Hot Chick's 1/12/12

    Posted by Parker

    This is sort of a companion piece to the blog I posted earlier today.  You should be able to click on it over to the right there if you want to check it out.-------->

    1)

    Holy Sleeping Beauty Batman!

    2)

    A legit costume would have a real frog

    3)

    That's a dinglehopper if I'm not mistaken

     

    4)

    I've wished Jessica Rabbit were a real person for years.  Thank you internet.

    5)

    Found a ton of Snow Whites.  This seems to be the most popular....

    6)

    ...although I don't remember this scene.  You don't want that apple anyway girl.  It's poisened.

    7)

    Jasmine For the Win

    8)

    Yes that's Paris.  No those are not contacts.  Her eyes are always that evil.

    9)

     

     

  • MSU Running Back Nick Hill Gets Some Pretty Impressive Ink.

    Posted by Parker

     

    Found this on the front page of Yahoo! today.  The guy who wrote the original article seemed to think this was the greatest tat in all of college football.  I think it's cool, but I have seen cooler.  I can tell you this much though.  It had to have hurt like a bitch.

    I think that defensive tackle Jerel Worthy's (While not as well done) was way more original.

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/11/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Nice.  Except that is NOT how you use it bitch.

    2)

    Something about women wearing underwear with a pee hole unsettles me a little.

    3)

    Most featured thing in these galleries?  The ocean.  I'm sick of the ocean.  I'm getting a little tired of water if truth be told.

    4)

    Who ordered da ass?

    5)

    HA HA!  Sucks to be you extremely attractive chick.

    6)

    Well?  Which do you want it to be?  An "F" or an "S"?  I'd be cool with either one.

    7)

    Odds that these chicks are actual soldiers?  about 10 billion : 1

    8)

    I guess the dude on the left with the headphones has seen this before.

    9)

    I did NOT edit this photo, but the guy that did is pretty damn funny.

     

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/10/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    If the lamp from "A Christmas Story" were an entire person, it would be this chick.

    2)

    This chick looks familiar.  I have no Idea why.

    3)

    A ninja assassin took this on his iphone just before the kill.

    4)

    Actual brides not shown.  Your bride may vary.

    5)

    Her picture is not going to turn out.  She needs some photography classes.

    6)

    I like this picture far too much to say anything funny about it.

    7)

    Some dude SAW this chick on TV.  rewound it, and got the still.  Good eye dude!

    8)

    This is what robot sex dolls of the future will look like.

    9)

    "WONDER WOMAN!"  (Parker's note: This caption is meant to be sang in a high pitched voice.)

    10)

    If you ever want to hide against this wall, you picked the right shirt.

  • Most Women Actually LIKE Sexism. Here Are 7 Examples.

    Posted by Parker

    I maintain that most women LIKE sexism.  That statement makes me an immediate enemy of most women, but in reality I consider myself a feminist.  I WANT women to be equal.  But to be truly equal they have to give up the good stuff.  You can't have it both ways.  Here are some examples.

    1) Guy Gives a Girl His Coat:  Ladies.  Have you ever given your jacket to a man with a t-shirt on if it's cold outside?  No?  Then you like sexism.

    No, No.  I'm fine.  Really.

    2) A Woman Leaves Her Wallet at Home When She Goes To The Bar:  No pockets?  No problem.  Just get some sorry SOB with no chance to buy you drinks.  That's what you wore that dress with no pockets for anyway, right?

    This one applies to everyone.  EVERYONE!

    3) Doors:  This one is obvious.  You can't smash through a glass ceiling if you can't even open a door by yourself.

    Fun Fact: I did an image search for "Woman Opens Door" and this came up.

    4) Traffic Tickets:  Ever see a guy get out of a traffic ticket?  That's because it does not happen.  If a man cries and says something like "I'm soooo sorry officer.  This has neeeever happened before." he is more likely to get taken to jail than to get out of the ticket.

    What stop sign?

    5) First Date Dinner:  A few women will make the arquement that they HAVE paid on a first date.  While I'm sure this is true, even they have to admit that it is not the standard.

    Oh, it's a text from Greg.  It says "Remember when I got up to use the restroom?  Well, I left. lol ;)"

    6) Pull The Car Around:  Oh.  It's raining?  Tough @#$%!  How about YOU go get the car while your husband waits in the entryway of Chili's.

    Hurry honey.  My left over chicken crispers are getting cold.

    7) Couch In The Womens Room:  Either we get one, or you lose yours.  That's right.  We know it's in there.  I guess you'll just have to stand while you cry to your friend Cindy about how the guy you liked is hitting on another chick.

     

    Any woman who has ever complained of sexism has taken advantage of AT LEAST one of these things.  I actually hope that it flips the other way and women get all the power.  Then I will never pay for another drink at the bar and I will be able to sleep my way to the top because all my bosses will be women.

     

    -Parker

  • Third Graders Recieve Homework That Asks "If Fred Got Two Beatings Per Day.."

    Posted by Parker

    I saw this story on Yahoo.  I think that we can all agree Beatings and Racism are bad things.  It makes me angry that people who think this is ok still live in our country.  In my opinion the idiot teacher should get fired AND deported! -Parker

    "Third graders in in Gwinnett County, Ga., were given math homework Wednesday that asked questions about slavery and beatings.

    Christopher Braxton told ABC News affiliate         WSB-TV in Atlanta that he couldn't believe the assignment his 8-year-old son brought home from of Beaver Ridge Elementary school in Norcross.

    "It kind of blew me away," Braxton said. "Do you see what I see? Do you really see what I see? He's not answering this question."

    The question read, "Each tree had 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?"

     

    Another math problem read, "If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?"

    Another question asked how many baskets of cotton Frederick filled.

    "I was furious at that point," Braxton said.

    "This outrages me because it just lets me know that there's still racists," said Stephanie Jones, whose child is a student at the school.

    "Something like that shouldn't be imbedded into a kid of the third, fourth, fifth, any grade," parent Terrance Barnett told WSB-TV. "I'm having to explain to my 8-year-old why slavery or slaves or beatings are in a math problem. That hurts."

    "In this one, the teachers were trying to do a cross-curricular activity," Gwinnett County school district spokeswoman Sloan Roach said.

    Roach said the teachers were attempting to incorporate social studies into math problems.

    "We understand that there are concerns about these questions, and we agree that these questions were not appropriate,"          she said."

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/9/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    That's right!  You look at ME!  I am WAY more interesting than some sucky ocean!

    2)

    I see what you did there.

    3)

    Fun fact:  These are the exact same model of headphones that I use on the air everyday.  Not so Fun Fact: This is actually very bad for them and will cause them to break.

    4)

    Do huge boobs make this chick more attractive than she would otherwise be?  Yeah.  Do they make her hot?  Meh.

    5)

    In case of balance emergency: lean against tree.

    6)

    Can you hold these for a second?  Thanks.

    7)

    You like that?

    8)

    This last one just makes me hungry.

     

     

  • REALLY Old Brothel Coin Shows Up In The UK. Learn Some Quick Ancient Porn History!

    Posted by Parker

    Learning is fun.  Check out this story about an Ancient sex token.  This is way better than the ones you get at Chuck E. Cheese!

    "One of the oldest pieces of British porn has been discovered in mud near the Putney Bridge in London. The artifact from the first century A.D. looks like it might feature two blobs wrestling, but it’s actually a kind of token used in brothels across the Roman Empire, which one could turn in for a particular sex act. It’s been handed over to the Museum of London, where it will provide cheap thrills to kids on field trips."

     

    Story and picture taken from jezebel.com

    -Parker

     
     
     
     
  • Tiger's Ex Elin Nordegren Buys a $12.3 million Mansion, Then Has It Bulldozed To The Ground.

    Posted by Parker

    When she divorced Tiger she got 100 Million bucks.  Not bad.  So what does a hot crazy chick do with all that money?  Buy a $12.3 million mansion. 

    That much I understand.  What I don't get is she immediatly had it bulldozed to the ground.  I'm all for her HAVING a mansion, but destroying it for no good reason seems to say "Hey poor people.  Hungry?  Cold?  Homeless?  I suppose I could donate some money to you, but instead I think I'll destroy this multi-million dollar home I just bought"  Here is what it looks like now: