Parker's Wild Blog!

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/20/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    I wonder if this was an "Emperor's New Clothes" type situation.

    2)

    I like the spotted ones

    3)

    This is what March in Michigan looks like.

    4)

    I've seen a few of this chicks "cough, cough" films, if you know what i'm saying.  She does porn if you don't know what I'm saying.

    5)

    Service!

    6)

    ?????????????

    7)

    I searched "dirty pirate hooker" and this came up............

    8)

    .........so did this.

    9)

    Nice ink, but I'm affraid we are going to have to pull those apart so I can see all of it.

     

     

     

  • Dogs Bark The Imperial March From Star Wars.

    Posted by Parker

    I am a huge dork.  That is why I find this commercial entertaining.  It is going to air during the super bowl.  That is all the set up you need.  Just watch it. -Parker

     

  • Bruins Fan Tackles Tampa Bay Mascot

    Posted by Parker

    Mascots make me uneasy.  But I still think that this Bruins fan needs to chill the hell out and not beat the crap out of a giant bug just because he got hit with a little silly string.  What a dick. -Parker

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/19/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    How often do you see hot chicks just laying in the grass with no blanket?  Not often.

    2)

    No matter how busy this bar/restaurant is, this chick will always get a table.

    3)

    This camo sucks.  I can still see her.

    4)

    Are you you the droid she's looking for?

    5)

    Here is a giant picture of Katie Perry in a hat.

    6)

    5 minutes later Lennox Lewis beat her senseless.  I lost 50 bucks on that fight.

    7)

    Drunk chicks sure do sweat a lot.

    8)

    YES!

     

     

  • Frances Bean and Kurt Cobain Side by Side Photos

    Posted by Parker

    Frances Bean Cobain (the daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love) is now 19 years old.  A lot of people are saying she is hot.  Which she is.  But I get a little creeped out at how much she looks like her dad.  I don't think I could ever have sex with something that had Kurt Cobains face on it.  But maybe that's just me. -Parker

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    Pictures from Buzzfeed.com.  I have no idea why they are all different sizes.

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/17/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Wow, her picture is going to be a great close up of dirt.

    2)

    Girl Posing for Pin Up poster.  Today?  She is your Grandma.....or dead.

    3)

    Today is your lucky day!  My hands are made of aloe!

    4)

    So.  You come here oft.......OH MY GOD YOU'RE MELTING!  AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH!

    5)

    Is this porn?

    6)

    Black and white.  This is art I guess.  If the picture of the cow chick were in black and white it would be hanging in the Louvre.

    7)

    Wait is she...how can....where in the?

    8)

    Back atcha.

    9)

    5 bucks says she gets it stuck in her hair.

     

     

  • Transcript of Coastguard Screaming at Cruise Ship Captain to Get Back Aboard His Ship.

    Posted by Parker

     

    I bet you have heard that a recording was released of the coastguard yelling at the captain of the sinking Italian cruise ship.  But I bet, like me, you do not speak italian.  So here is a fully translated transcript of the radio conversation between the two.  I think it shows pretty clearly that the captain was a coward. -Parker

    Coast Guard: Hello.

      Captain: Good evening, chief.

      Coast Guard: Listen, this is De Falco from Livorno. Am I speaking with the captain?

    Captain: Good evening, Chief De Falco.

    Coast Guard: Tell me your name, please.

      Captain: I am Captain Schettino, chief.

      Coast Guard: Schettino?

    Captain: Yes.

    Coast Guard: Listen, Schettino. There are people trapped on board. Now, you go with your lifeboat. Under the bow of the ship, on the right side, there is a ladder. You climb on that ladder and go on board the ship. Go on board the ship and get back to me and tell me how many people are there. Is that clear. I am recording this conversation, Captain Schettino.

      (Captain tries to speak but Coast Guard can't hear him clearly. Voices in the Coast Guard room.)

      Coast Guard: Speak up! (captain tries to speak) Captain, put your hand over the microphone and speak in a louder voice!

      Captain: At this moment the ship is listing.

      Coast Guard: There are people who are coming down the ladder on the bow. Go back in the opposite direction, get back on the ship, and tell me how many people there are and what they have on board. Tell me if there are children, women and what type of help they need. And you tell me the number of each of these categories. Is that clear?

      Listen Schettino, perhaps you have saved yourself from the sea but I will make you look very bad. I will make you pay for this. Dammit, go back on board!

      (Noise can be heard in the background. Apparently other Coast Guard officers are shouting to each other in the same room about "the ship, the ship")

      Captain: Please ...

      Coast Guard: There is no 'please' about it. Get back on board. Assure me you are going back on board!

      Captain: I'm in a lifeboat, I am under here. I am not going anywhere. I am here.

      Coast Guard: What are you doing, captain?

      Captain: I am here to coordinate the rescue...

      Coast Guard (interrupting): What are you coordinating there! Get on board! Coordinate the rescue from on board! Are you refusing?

      Captain: No, I am not refusing.

      Coast Guard: Are you refusing to go aboard, captain? Tell me the reason why you are not going back on board.

      Captain: (inaudible)... there is a another lifeboat...

      Coast Guard (interrupting, yelling): You get back on board! That is an order! There is nothing else for you to consider. You have sounded the "Abandon Ship." Now I am giving the orders. Get back on board. Is that clear? Don't you hear me?

      Captain: I am going aboard.

      Coast Guard: Go! Call me immediately when you are on board. My rescue people are in front of the bow.

      Captain: Where is your rescue craft?

      Coast Guard: My rescue craft is at the bow. Go! There are already bodies, Schettino. Go!

      Captain: How many bodies are there?

      Coast Guard: I don't know! ... Christ, you should be the one telling me that!

      Captain: Do you realize that it is dark and we can't see anything?

      Coast Guard: So, what do you want to do, to go home, Schettino?! It's dark and you want to go home? Go to the bow of the ship where the ladder is and tell me what needs to be done, how many people there are, and what they need! Now!

      Captain: My second in command is here with me.

      Coast Guard: Then both of you go! Both of you! What is the name of your second in command?

      Captain: His name is Dmitri (static)"

      Coast Guard: What is the rest of his name? (static) You and your second in command get on board now! Is that clear?

      Captain: Look, chief, I want to go aboard but the other lifeboat here has stopped and is drifting. I have called ...

      Coast Guard (interrupting): You have been telling me this for an hour! Now, go aboard! Get on board, and tell me immediately how many people there are!

      Captain: OK, chief.

      Coast Guard: Go! Immediately!

     

    transcript from reuters

  • Man Hides 10" Revolver Up His Butt.

    Posted by Parker

    I found this story at thesmokinggun.com.  After reading it I look at the picture of the gun and can't stop thinking "Ouch" -Parker

    Michael Leon Ward, a 22-year-old Georgia resident, was arrested Monday after a trooper spotted him speeding. Ward, who resisted arrest, was subdued with the help of a stun gun. A subsequent search of his vehicle resulted in additional charges for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. But it was only after Ward—who is a fugitive on a murder warrant out of Atlanta—entered the Onslow County jail that sheriff’s investigators discovered what else he possessed.

    According to cops, Ward, summoned jailers to his cell, claiming that someone was trying to kill him, and that he discovered a gun inside his cell. The weapon was found in the toilet, where Ward claimed he tossed it after finding it in his bunk.

    Sheriff’s investigators say they are investigating how Ward got the weapon into the jail, since he had been “strip searched prior to being booked into a cell block.” The inmate, a press release notes, was taken today to a local hospital “for possible injuries that may have occurred to Ward’s rectum where it is believed Ward may have concealed” the revolver.

     
     
     
     
  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/16/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    I bet she is checking out THIS VERY BLOG.

    2)

    Dirt Mcgirt approves

    3)

    Welcome to the topless barn.  Where topless chicks come to ponder the mysteries of the universe.

    4)

    Something something her batcave something something.

    5)

    Planking fail

    6)

    She brought protection.

    7)

    I'll just go ahead and file this under "Never Gonna Happen"

    8)

    Hot chicks posing with fish pics are not easy to find......in case you ever wondered.

     

     

  • The Greatest 8-Bit Nintendo Game Ever Is Free!

    Posted by Parker

    What would happen if you took every great nintendo game ever made and smashed it into one game?  Abobo's Big Adventure.  That's what.

    This is a flash game that you can play RIGHT NOW and it is 100% free!

    The guys who made it did it as a tribute to all of their favorite nintendo games and have been working on it for the past couple years.

    It wasted at least half an hour of my time today.  Here is the link. http://abobosbigadventure.com/fullgame.php   Go ahead.  Play it now!

    -Parker