Parker's Wild Blog!

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 2/1/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Her "sexy" face is ALMOST there, but still needs a little work.

    2)

    Hey.  Chick on the far right!  You lose!

    3)

    5 what?

    4)

    Photo bombs are awesome

    5)

    Yup, this one fits.

    6)

    Cheers to you sexy bitch.  Cheers to you.

    7)

    Das Jug Haus

    8)

    Her boyfriend should really see a urologist

    9)

    They never pull enough!

     

  • Adam Sandler to Star in and Write Movie Based on the Board Game "Candyland"

    Posted by Parker

    I'm sorry Adam Sandler.  I truely am.  There was a time that you were pretty damn funny.  That time is not 2012.  Saying things like "Slippity Sloppity Dooby!" in the same stupid voice gets old after 15 years or so.

    Put that together with the fact that making board games into movies is a terrible idea to start with. The thought of Candyland on the big screen makes me want to vomit.  Here is a quote from the studio suits trying to justify this abomination:

    “‘Candy Land’ is more than just a game. It is a brand that children, parents and grandparents know and love,” said Columbia president Doug Belgrad. “The world of ‘Candy Land’ offers an extraordinary canvas upon which to create a fantastical, live-action family adventure film with a larger than life part for Adam. We are thrilled to partner with Hasbro and Happy Madison on this project.”

    “The creative talent on board for this movie is amazing and we are excited to bring alive the world of Candy Land for kids and families everywhere,” Hasbro’s Goldner added. “Sony/Columbia has been a wonderful creative partner as we develop another of our games, ‘Risk,’ for the big screen. We are looking forward to working with Sony/Columbia and Adam Sandler and his team at Happy Madison Productions on this film.”

    Am I the only one who thinks this is a train wreck?  -Parker

  • George Clooney's Ex Winds Up with....Steve-O?

    Posted by Parker

    Whether you love or hate him, I think we can all agree that Steve-O is an idiot.  So why does he end up with Clooney's leftovers?  Elisabetta Canalis (George Clooney's Ex) is shown in the picture below making out with Steve-O from "Jackass".  What the what??!!!!

     

    Since when does letting baby crocodiles bite your nuts and pouring beer in your ass make you a prime catch to an Italian super model?  People are idiots.

    Clooney has since moved on to WWE star Stacy Keibler.  Maybe when they split she can date Bam Margeras uncle (and convicted pedophile) Don Vito. 

    -Parker

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/31/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    I don't care what that ONE chick playing Call of Duty says.  She looks NOTHING like this.

    2)

    I used to date a chick who had this EXACT apartment layout.  It was not this chick, but they are probably equal parts crazy.

    3)

    That robe looks way less itchy than the ones in the movie.  Jedi's should have gone with silk.

    4)

    WEED!

    5)

    I know....ladders, am I right.  They are soooo sad.

    6)

    Porn Stars dressed in regular person clothes are interesting.  It almost makes them seem human.  This is Sara Stone if you want to see what she usually looks like, look her up.

    7)

    Now pull her top down!  DO IT!

    8)

    Irish?  I doubt it.......

    9)

    THIS chick on the other hand...She looks pretty Irish.

    10)

    Hay There.

     

     

  • Full Ferris Bueller Super Bowl Ad. It's For Honda.

    Posted by Parker

    This was a big let down.  Last week I posted a 10 second clip that people speculated could be a new Ferris Bueller movie.  Sadly it turned out to be a crumby commercial for Honda.  Damn you Honda!  It will run during the Super Bowl, but if you want to watch it now, here it is. -Parker

     

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/30/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    Indeed.

    2)

    This entire outfit is chocolate.  I think it would be cool to stick her under a heat lamp and then take another picture.

    3)

    See the one covering her friends naughty parts?  She is the bitch that is going to drag them all home early.

    4)

    Pretty hot.......unless she is dead.......she sort of looks dead.

    5)

    Is there a name for this type of swimsuit?  If there is that would be great because I could just google image search it.

    6)

    I can't figure out if this photo was staged or if she is really just waking up.  She looks tired, but also her top is sitting pretty evenly.  The world may never know.

    7)

    One girl, two cups. (Is that joke still funny)

    8)

    As soon as my time machine is done I will be going to 10/02/2007

    9)

    It took me a second to realize this was Angelina.

     

  • I Start My 8 Week Platinum Work Out Routine on Monday. Here is My "Before" Picture

    Posted by Parker

    Every year I do an intense 8 week cardio and weight training program to get in shape for the summer time.  I always start the week of Groundhog Day.  It always helps to take a before and after photo for motivation.  You work harder knowing people will call you out if the two photos look the same.  Here is my embarrasing "Before" photo.

    I first came up with the workout after reading "LL Cool J's Platinum Workout"  Don't laugh.  It's a great book.  Pick it up!  The only big problem is I can't have any booze for 8 weeks.  Also, thanks to Mojo for (reluctantly) taking a photo of me shirtless.

  • Parker's Random Hot Chicks 1/27/12

    Posted by Parker

    1)

    I want to go to here

    2)

    I think this was taken in that room you get guns from before you go into the matrix

    3)

    HEY!  I'll keep an eye on that!  You just keep oiling!

    4)

    I wonder if when they issued these outfits they thought about the fact that these chicks would wear them while getting nailed.

    5)

    Toe Pick

    6)

    Spicey

    7)

    There are a TON of great Linda Carter picks.  Here's another one.

    8)

    She is at that crucial point where you have to hurry and make out with her before she pukes.

    9)

    Nice outfit.  You're sitting in the bath tub why?